


your (therapist) was right

by lyriccs



Category: Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: ADHD, Alcohol, Anal Fingering, Angst, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Bottom GeorgeNotFound (Video Blogging RPF), Bromance to Romance, Dead Dove: Do Not Eat, Dissociation, Drug Addiction, Eating Disorders, Freeform, I'm Bad At Summaries, I'm Bad At Tagging, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Kink Negotiation, Love Confessions, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Non-Sexual Age Play, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Party, Past Sexual Abuse, Porn With Plot, Praise Kink, Psychosis, Rough Sex, Self-Harm, Size Kink, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt, Switch Sapnap (Video Blogging RPF), Top Clay | Dream (Video Blogging RPF), anger issues, dream needs a raise, george has bpd, no beta we die like george in manhunt, poly sapnap, sapnap is addicted to drugs, saw that in another fic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-24
Updated: 2021-01-27
Packaged: 2021-03-17 00:42:39
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,274
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28965540
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lyriccs/pseuds/lyriccs
Summary: george was quickly deteriorating 4,395 miles away; sapnap was haunted by chemical release 1,142 miles miles away.dream had an open couch and unresolved feelings.akathe dork team move in for a group suicide watch, turns out this mentally ill household has extremely chaotic tendencies.
Relationships: Alexis | Quackity/Karl Jacobs/Sapnap, Clay | Dream & GeorgeNotFound & Sapnap (Video Blogging RPF), Clay | Dream/GeorgeNotFound (Video Blogging RPF), Clay | Dream/GeorgeNotFound/Sapnap (Video Blogging RPF)
Comments: 64
Kudos: 283





	1. 1,142 miles away.

**Author's Note:**

> hello! i just wanna start off clear- when referring to the context creators, i am shipping their fictional characters not the people behind them. although, i will be referring to their real names instead of using their IGNs as it feels disconnecting. also i intentionally write in all lowercase as it's easier to read for me, personally.
> 
> if any content creators feel uncomfortable with the existence of this piece, i will immediately delete. i am doubtful, but also please do not mention this fanfiction in any streams.
> 
> other than that, enjoy this short epilogue from sapnaps perspective !

he had always found it amusing that lsd manufacturers would try to cover up the bitter, chemical taste of their product with cheap flavours like blue raspberry- totally inconspicuous. the paper on sapnaps tongue felt heavy, almost as if the tab had already been injected with all this nights dwellings, his back almost sinking into the rough wall of the gas station. his green eyes blinking wearily as they glazed across the tire marks laced around the parking lot.

six months ago, sapnap came here for slushies. six months later he came for drugs.

squinting, he watched as the occasional car passed on the road- no particular interest, more so looking for something to funnel his remaining focus into. at the early hours, the texan night was comfortable; the type of night where in his ideal world dream, george, bad and himself would go off into the night wielding a can of spray paint. cicadas would be chirping into the night air, trying to say what they all were thinking but couldn’t convey.

fuck, he needed them to continue without him.

sapnap slid down the abrasive wall probably making a state of his black hoodie, onto the curb. his feet felt heavy within his socks, but he knew that ultimately, he couldn’t just stay there. fortunately for him, he still had some semblance of routine. his heart contorted as he felt a pang of guilt, hopefully by tomorrow afternoon he’d still be able to stream with george. if it weren’t for his twitch career to uphold, along with his friendships, it was likely sapnap would have slipped further down this slope of looming darkness. maybe he wouldn’t even be here if he had given into his brain.

blue raspberry had subsided, the artificial taste leaving the inside of his cheeks and tongue feeling tight- he didn’t normally use lsd if he wasn’t at a party of some sort, but tonight he didn’t need a party. no, he’d decided that he wanted to feel something other than impending anxiety. pulling out his phone from his pocket he checked his phone, looking for any sort of ominous text- sapnap let his hand settle in his hair, pursing his lips.

tonight, while picking up his salvation, he had been met with a cold-faced individual clad in a worn tracksuit. sapnap was taken aback by this, usually his plug ran a hidden parcel scheme, because he’d never actually seen who was running the tabs and baggies. deep rooted in his mind, the brunette already knew what he was going to say- this was presumably isaac. his past few times ordering, he had been let aware of the debt he was accumulating. naturally, it ended with a sharp-tongued formal warning.

his entire body felt like it was drifting on the crest of a wave, his fingers feeling numb as he absentmindedly strummed them against his elbow; to sapnap his fingers felt like they were burrowed deep within his flesh. his eyes were wide open, yet the only thing his eyes cared to linger on was a small brown bird on the road, focusing on how it hopped around with no real motive.

one spontaneous burst of adrenaline later, he found himself barrelling towards the small creature. at this point he could barely register the connection between the soles of his feet and the concrete, nor the noise he made that caused the bird fly away instinctively.

`` you have wings, don’t you? `` he spat to himself, `` anywhere in the world and you stay _here?_ don’t piss me off! ``

dragging his hand across his lax mouth, he found himself stood at the side of the road. the night had brought further darkness, the purple neon signs now glazing artificial colours onto the road causing his own shadow to become apparent.

there was a part of him the wished the road were busy.


	2. 4,395 miles away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw: suicidal thoughts, disordered eating.

britain was not the best place for someone who already thought their world was dark.

george was stood in front of the mirror, his eyes fixed upon his gaunt face- he looked so very tired. the looming light crept through bathroom window, casting shadows off every surface. his hands were propped up on the sink, his palms feeling tacky with the haphazard smears of toothpaste messily around the bathroom. the brunette pushed a sigh through his teeth, he looked like ass. hollowed out cheekbones, a pale complexion adorned with heavy bags under his eyes.

with a sluggish movement, he turned on the tap and let the basin fill up with water; the soft trickling letting george retreat into his head. today he had a stream scheduled with sapnap and dream. he had only been awake for around 10 minutes, and already he was thinking up excuses to skip out on playing minecraft with his friends, he knew he was experiencing a depressive episode. turning off the tap, george lowered his head into the chilled water. mere seconds later his nose and cheeks were burning from the cold. through the murmuring of his eardrums, he could hear his heart palpitate uncomfortably.

making his way through his bedroom, he found himself in the kitchen. the area was shrouded in dirty dishes along with general trash- relatable to a depression den. the smell in the kitchen was putrid, like rotting food and dampness- at the start george would wrinkle his noise. now the smell was white noise.

it was no surprise george resembled a vampire- all his windows were covered by loose shutters that have never been fully open judging by the thick layer of dust settled on each lattice. george sunk to the floor in front of a cupboard, his already blue feet freezing against the yellowed tiles, his mind was already wondering before his butt hit the floor.

sapnap and dream surely would have sun-kissed skin, the american sun giving them a tan resembling amber glowing in the light. oh to touch them. george was always fixated by sapnaps shoulders, strange, but they looked like they smelt good- sapnap was for sure a great hugger. a few days ago, the man had learnt of dreams freckles.

it was nice to have such fragile, special thoughts in his mind- rather than blackened clouds of worry and torment hiding within his skull. dare he say that dreams freckles were keeping him alive.

resting his hand on the cabinet, he swung it open to reveal stale cereal. freckles were such a stupid thing to hang on for, but after depression takes the happiness out of your core, george had to find the beauty in the small things in order to drive himself on.

and although ubiquitous specks occupied his mind, it wouldn’t save him from the persistent fatigue or the frenzy of mania. the british man could go from lying in bed, pissing in bottles as he didn’t have the strength to make it to the bathroom- to obsessively sexting dream and sapnap while on stream screaming out his lungs. honestly? he found himself embarrassing.

georges bones felt so heavy, which was odd for how hollow he felt.

sticking his hand into the cereal box, he shovelled a handful of hardened multigrain shapes. he grimaced at the taste, his brain counting sets of calories like a metronome; he was already guilty for breaking his fast, the taste didn’t exactly help his cause. he balled up his fists and held them besides his temples, now trembling angrily. eyes fixated on his phone as it rang, he hadn’t even registered the buzzing of discord through his dark thoughts. it was sapnap.

he said he’d die to be skinny, but clearly, he isn’t willing to as he sat and stuffed his face. with his lies burnt into his mind, he let the tears roll down his face freely- his bottom lip quivering as he hiccupped with broken disappointment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for giving me a chance! the next chapter will be dreams intro chapter, then afterwards i can start making the chapters longer hehe
> 
> please comment things you'd like to see!! i have a vague plot in mind, but i want this book to be chaotic with angst- so comment and i'll almost surely incorporate ! ( nsfw or triggering included! if not encouraged. this is sorta a vent series for me )
> 
> i love y'all!! everyone deserves to eat today. i love you <3


	3. The epicentre

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is the last short intro chapter!!! get in bitches we're going to angst town coolville!!!
> 
> ilysm! no immediate triggers-

florida nights always felt sticky, standing up dream heard the grotesque suction of his skin against the pleather chair; it made him grunt uncomfortably. before navigating anywhere dream stretched his arms up into the humid air, a muffled crack rippling from his lower spine satisfying the pressure build-up he had entertained. the night was almost morning, an orange tone painting the clouds a dusty red. the night owl had worked like clockwork through the twilight setting up some plotlines for the smp, seeming on auto pilot as he generated obsidian- other than that he was helping sam extend the prison. the shenanigans that the server brought always made him feel more relaxed, even seeing little things like tubbo and tommy kill each other by ridiculous methods made him grin. on the other hand it was never easy dealing with tommys whining in chat. every death he somehow, without a doubt, loses something precious.

glancing over to his clock, he noted the time of 4am. this was the time that the smp was practically silent as every sane occupant would be, ya'know- sleeping?, so dream thought it was an appropriate time to catch up on some sleep; leaving a sleepless technoblade to grind resources and ramboo planting berry bushes around snowchester for some bastardly reason. the concept of time didn’t apply to those on the server, they could spend days in that chaotic world before realising they had actual chores to take care of. sometimes this could be quite dangerous, _yet again,_ it was always funny hearing tommy and tubbos parents scream to them about washing up or taking the dog out. 

dreams adhd manifested in such a way that everyday he found himself in a strict routine; shower, breakfast, clean up then the rest of his day could be spent at his desk. he was proud of himself for this, he knew how hard it was for his friends as it was once for him too. for example, dream would have to facetime sapnap and watch him wash the pots or else he’d leave them on the side for days and george? he loved him dearly, but his personal hygiene was in complete shambles, understandably though, as his depression would inhibit him from doing even the smallest of things. there had been multiple times of dream talking to george through his baths as he felt so heavy that he couldn’t move. it was clear his friends couldn't cope with their brain as great as dream, the close three always having known vaguely of each others problems but the excruciating distance being a critical factor in their openness. 

it would take george around an hour to bathe, even longer to even be convinced to get in. throughout dream would lead the conversation on the discord call, talking about concepts for future plug-in reviews as george would lay limply in the tub awkwardly replying, then breaking into ugly sobs wrecking his body as he couldn’t bear to look at his naked figure. not even mentioning how humiliated he was. in a way dream felt responsibly for them, not in a parental way though- more so in a pained lovers way. it hurt him to see them struggling with just existing.

dream winced at the thought of his friends, he winced as he remembered that nick was supposed to have come online, promising that he could fix up the prime path. he hadn’t, which confused him to be frank. usually, sapnap found a constructive relief in minecraft, so why had he changed his mind?

flopping onto his unkempt bed, he peeled the white sweaty shirt off his skin- his ac was on, but the heat was particularly brutal tonight. dreams chest raised then fell with his shallow breaths, nagging anxiety pulling at his head. wrestling his phone from his pocket, his fingers easily navigated the cracked screen until they arrived upon their special group chat. he furrowed his brow, seeing numerous texts. was his phone on mute from recording still? he bit his lip anxiously, swiping into the private group and scrolled up to the start of their current conversation for context.

**sexy blocks**

**#### | snapback**

_attachment sent._

clicking onto the loading picture, he saw a blurred picture of sapnap sat with his feet sprawled out in a parking lot that had been taken during motion. his head swelled with nerves, during sapnaps first encounter with substance abuse he would send dream videos of him tricking the slushie machine to get extra. he sat there trying to rationalise where sapnap was, saying it was uncanny how they looked the same- but dream knew where he was. he was relapsing.

dream had to pry his eyes away from the picture and onto georges reply, which was also an attachment. while it loaded in chunks, guilt consumed the blonde as he stared intensely into his ceiling, he chewed into his inner cheeks until they were raw.

**#### | gogchamp**

_attachment sent._

the photo was dark, like it was taken in a dim room- but upon inspection it was a photo of george laid on the kitchen floor, the photo being taken through the reflection of a dirty oven. although georges face was covered by his phone, he could see the giant stained duvet enveloping him.

there were other messages ping ponged between them both with the occasional jumbled message, yet the man switched off his phone and tossed it to the other side of the bed, standing up quickly and swung at his wall; violently smashing his knuckles into the abused and bloodied drywall. in no way was dream angry at his friends, more so at himself. angry at the feeling of uselessness his ribs were laced in.

``these two nymrods…``, muttered the _third_ nymrod.


	4. i

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> all chapters will be longer now the intro chapters have finished!
> 
> tw: descriptions of an ed body, handjob

no matter how much sapnap took, he never woke up to incessant rumbling above him. screwing up his eyes, he rolled over and then found himself in an extremely uncomfortable position as he let out a long groan. now that he was becoming somewhat earthly, the roaring sound was quickly becoming intolerable; opening his eyes he realised that this was not his fucking bedroom.

sluggishly sitting up, the morning sun caught the corner of his eye as he dipped up from the shade, looking from side to side he noted that he had slept under an overpass. an overpass with a booming rhythm of cars, enough needles scattered around for you to want to take a blood test and the horrible muggy weather. how he managed to even get comfortable baffled him, nevermind falling asleep for hours.

he somehow made his way up onto his feet, climbing up the incline to the side of the road. from a distance you could tell that the texan was dishevelled; his hair messily strewn around, barely contained in his small manbun as loose strands stuck to his forehead with sweat. sapnap dug into his pocket, thankfully retrieving his phone but to his discovery his phone had apparently died at some point through the night. exhaling, the man got to walking as he still remembered that george would be streaming later with him.

the sidewalk knew sapnap all too well, the man was all too familiar with this town. too many dull memories blurred into one fictive making sapnap feel suffocated as he tried to avoid eye contact with the road ahead. there was so much history along this road- his first crash was here, he had lost his cat and walked up and down the road all night.

the road that las night he wished he had run into.

eventually he reached his apartment block, it was a depressing shithole. it wasn’t the best neighbourhood, but this little road was excessively trashed with traffic cones and litter. the only pro to this depressive place was the raccoons he could occasionally see from his window, ignoring the fact that he had been billed for dangling from his window and feeding them granola. as much as sapnap bitched though, it’s not exactly like he was one to talk.

inputting the code to the building, sapnap walked down the hallway and unlocked it door. a complete hypocrite, moaning internally about the state of the street when his bedroom looked like he roomed with said raccoons. upon shutting the door, he promptly stripped down; he smelt of overpass piss lingering on him, lovely and fragrant.

after his cold shower, sapnap slipped into his chair in just boxers as he wanted to see what dream and george were talking about in the group chat. pressing the ‘join call’ tab, he heard a chime and then a few seconds later the other lines glitched in.

`` -what to pack? i mean it’s always like _shit_ hot right? ` ` he heard george debate, humming in surprise as they noticed the newfound presence.

`` hey nick!`` dream chimed welcomingly, ``still down to stream jackbox in 10?``

clearing his voice, nick replied with a quick yes before george excitedly started talking- panting for air as if he couldn’t keep up with himself,

`` dream can we tell him? like surprise him right now?``

curiosity spurred him on, ``tell me what?``

a short pause rang through the call, almost as if dream weren’t ready to bring it up. ``we can all finally move in together! remember how we were gonna do it but, but we just forgot? well yeah!`` dream choked out with a lump in this throat, he obviously knew that he could slide it past a manic george…

but sapnap? he may not have the highest of iq at times, but he wasn’t an idiot.

the dark-haired man leant backwards in his chair, looking up at the ceiling while biting at his lip. dream probably realised what was happening, as much as he wanted to… you can’t just flee debt. snapping him out of his gaze, george chimed that he was going to go set up his stream then quickly deafened- leaving both men alone in their suffocating company.

dream was the first to speak, sounding tentative, ``nick, you sent photos last night and-``

``you don’t have to baby me, i’m _fine_ clay. it’s all under control.``

he heard a slight cough, then a change of tone afterward, `` nicky, you’re relapsing. remember last time? how you overdosed, and i was thousands of miles away from you? i was _useless_.`` dream swallowed, ``it’s not happening again.``

his last line was firm and yet so fragile, the other down the line sounded so desperate. it really made sapnap feel like an asshole, poor dream thought that this was a relapse… you can’t relapse if you never stopped. all this grief that dream held was given by him, and that felt utterly awful. it was barely a minute later until george undeafened himself, introducing the stream to this awkward dynamic.

sapnap tried so hard to maintain his happy and chaotic manner but knowing that he’d fucked things up really materialised a weight around his neck- dream sounded completely normal, almost eerily so, but it was clear he was trying to get sapnap to perk up with his constant jokes and gags. as for the oldest, it was a known fact in the discord that george had bpd; they couldn’t constantly make up excuses for why he slept through everything, then days later would go off the rails in activity levels. most of georges fans favourite clips were from when he was manic and screaming out gibberish, today was one of those streams as he heard george ramble on about how different shades of brown made him feel different emotions. that was until of course chat told him that he was looking at a brown, a red and an orange on the loading screen.

thankfully, as the time went on their usual atmosphere returned- dreams lines in the rap game backfiring on him so he’d sound gay, quackity talking about fucking moms and then karl talking about pissing in georges mouth. the normal was somewhat back, they played most of the games- sapnap getting infuriated by dream spamming ‘dnf’ as his answers- as well as the sales pitching game. chat loved it, constantly spamming different variations of how the feral boys were popping off. around three hours later george ended his stream, leaving the rest of the boys to filter away. karl and alex left for their gta stream with bad and skeppy, then george left to shower.

dream sounded uneasy, as if he were expecting the argument to continue as sapnap heard fidgeting down the call. exhaling, sapnap broke the uncomfortable silence- the florida man being taken aback by the lack of stubbornness.

`` i’m sorry dream, i don’t know what happened.``

a quick reply was issuing, trying to comfort him, ``nicky… i’m not angry at you at all, don’t think that. you’re struggling, i’m angry about the distance between us.``

a lump formed in sapnaps throat as tears burned his eyes, that tone… it felt so comforting. sniffling slightly, he didn’t quite finish the sentence without a few voice breaks, ``i want to go, but i owe money to them clay… i can’t.``

with a soft chuckle, clay hummed, `` since when did the texan plugs have a branch up in florida?``

``i can’t! they’ll be waiting for me when i get back…`` the smaller reasoned glumly.

sapnap spluttered on air, live with dream? he pressed his arms against his desk anxiously, his eyes glazing over his small apartment- a lonely single bed, a depressing kitchen. this was his chance to make his life better, a chance to mean something to dream. ``fine, i know you’re obsessed with me…`` he mildly joked with a slight smile.

``always have been.`` dream replied, a little bit too casual for it not to stick to the front of his brain. his voice was smooth, and low enough to make goosebumps crawl up his arms. oh, to be spoken like that to again, he thought as a familiar warmth pooled to his groin.

hearing a slight snicker, from dreams end, ``we’ve just received a picture from george on the snapchat group.``

sapnap replied with a small chuckle, grabbing his phone from the charger- his fingers finding their way to retrieve this image. clicking on it they both knew what they were getting into. george was forever sending teases into the group chat when he was hypersexual, always acting so uninterested on stream when in reality he was a complete attention slut.

the picture encaptivated george sat beside the bathroom sink on the counter, his back arched in such a way that his ribs were clearly visible- the bathroom light casting a shadow over each bone extenuating them. his face wasn’t visible, however a slither of the mirror behind him was in frame. sapnaps eyes trailed down his bruised spine to his lower back where he had purposely left his ass in the shot. his eyes lingered on georges smooth ass in the background, an uncomfortable tightness suddenly evident in his boxers.

``someones horny…`` dream said, almost teasingly. zoning back in, he realised he had been panting down the mic, letting small whines escape his lips. dream was referring to him. with a heavy blush spread across his face, he hummed in embarrassment as an answer.

there was a slight groan on the other end of the mic, along with the muffled sound of a zipper, ``nicky, i’m gonna need you to use your words.``

sapnap trailed his hand underneath the elasticated rim of his boxers, slowly running a hand over his dick before running a finger down his slit- collecting the precum that gathered there, slowly seeping into the fabric leaving a tell-tale dark stain at the front. despite the ac being on, the air still felt suffocating as the shorter male melted into his chair as he touched himself. indecent noises met sapnaps ear, lulling him into a further state of arousal.

``dream, fuck...`` he wrapped his hand around the base of his cock, slowly working it backwards and forwards as he gasped in pleasure. absentmindedly his hand sped up, a rhythm formed as he jacked off listening to equally lustful moans from dream. his legs felt numb, a throbbing lust deep within him as the heat began to spill over, he quickened his pace- lewd fapping noises ringing through the thick air.

``d-dream i’m close… i’m gonna cum-`` sapnap whined out, panting as he neared his orgasm.

``stop sapnap.`` he heard dream command, a tinge of sadism lacing his tone.

it was hard for him to stop, he half debated ignoring the tallers demand, but he complied. prying his hand from his painfully hard erection, sapnap groaned with frustration- his entire body pulsing with the need of release.

``just wanted to see if you were a goodboy,`` he cooed, before beginning to emit his own guttural moans as a slapping of skin was heard, ``you can cum now sappy.``

scared that dream would spontaneously revoke that right, his hand immediately resumed its prior job- not even 10 seconds later sapnap was cumming into his hands, white ropes spilling up onto his chest. sapnap let out one final satisfied moan, his voice definitely reverberating into his neighbours apartment, but he couldn’t care in the slightest as his face was displaying a pure state of bliss.

straight after, sapnap heard dreams grunts as he milked his way through his orgasm- attractive low moans as he let out a string of ‘fucks’ and ‘yes’ while reaching his climax. sapnap sat there panting for a while, slowly trying to piece himself back together as they both spent a minute regaining any semblance of cohesivity together.

``get packed nicky, i’ll send over your ticket tomorrow.`` he teased, already sounding back on top form while the brunette male was still trying to process what just happened.

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading, expect frequent updates!
> 
> if you comment you can have a kith ><


End file.
